17 September 2008

In your face hokiness

Friend and Brother Phil has a huge Masonic mailing list, to which he sends daily+ news and other items. Last week, he sent one which had originated, apparently, with some Minnesota brethren who were taken with our mountains, and who were touched by the depth of friendship which is found in West Virginia. I have modified it based on my own beliefs.

Friends and West Virginia Friends

Friends: Never ask for food.
West Virginia Friends: Never HAVE to ask, the extra plate is already set.

Friends: Will say 'hello'.
West Virginia Friends: Will give you a big hug and if you are of the opposite gender, a kiss.

Friends: Either don’t talk to your parents or mumble at them.
West Virginia Friends: Smile and call your parents Mom and Dad.

Friends: When they see old people with their adult children, ask the adult children how the old folks are doing.
West Virginia Friends: Talk directly to the elderly, call them “Ma’am” and “Sir” and ask them how the garden is doing.

Friends: Have never seen you cry.
West Virginia Friends: Cry with you.

Friends: Keep quiet while you pray and a little embarassed.
West Virginia Friends: Pray with you and hold your hand.

Friends: Will visit a bit and leave.
West Virginia Friends: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together, and you don’t feel time passing.

Friends: Will vanish if your family gets in criminal trouble.
West Virginia Friends: There in Court with you.

Friends: Introduce you to their friend the drug dealer.
West Virginia Friends: Call the police about your so-called friend the drug dealer.

Friends: If you call at 3AM, will give you the suicide hotline number.
West Virginia Friends: If you call at 3AM, will be right over and stay however long it takes.

Friends: Will visit you in the hospital when you're sick.
West Virginia Friends: Will cut your grass, clean your house, do your laundry, and then come spend the night with you in the hospital.

Friends: Will put you on their to-do list.
West Virginia Friends: Will drop everything and come running when you really need them.

Friends: Have you on speed dial in case they want to call.
West Virginia Friends: Remember you number and actually call you.

Friends: For a while.
West Virginia Friends: For life.

Friends: Think this is hokey.
West Virginia Friends: Screw ‘em, we don’t care if it is, it’s still true.

Pippa passes.


1 comment:

Bertram000 said...

"Friends: Will say 'hello'.
West Virginia Friends: Will give you a big hug and if you are of the opposite gender, a kiss."

You have no gay people in WV?