Would You Like to Round-Up for Ronald McDonald House?

 I’m mildly addicted to Diet Coke.  Not the way the President is, I don’t have
a button on my desk, and if I did, I’d get told to go straight to hell.  I’m still mildly addicted.  I get lots of Diet Cokes from McDonald's, as there seems to be one every two miles.  

Every time I’ve hit McDonald’s to feed my craving, some young person at the drive-thru says, “Would you like to round-up to benefit Ronald McDonald House?”  

Hey, who can say no?  What kind of skin-flint, cheap, miserly, old bastard would or could even say “No, thanks.”   Let alone just a brusque “No.”

I know one.  It’s me.  “No.”  Not even “No, thank you,” and I surely will not make any lame excuse.   Just “No.”  If the McD world can’t tell why I do, screw-'em.

It’s Sunday morning.  Am I going to say “No” to the church?  If you want to know the answer to that, you got too much time on your hands. My rule: What I give to others I do not discuss.  If you watch me constantly, you probably can tell my level of public participation, but you will never tell it by my words. 

Maybe I am a skin-flint; maybe I am generous to a fault.  It’s none of your business.

Now, that strangely violates one my rules for making money for charitable causes.   You are supposed to sincerely thank a donor and let them - if they want - let other’s know about the donation.  It’s sort a “to-each-his-own.”  For the last several decades, I have raised money for non-profits, and I have raised a good bit.

  
Now, in my typical aside - I just can’t resist getting side-traced - I came up with a method some years ago when a non-profit we were heavily involved in needed $10,000 BADLY to balance the books.  I came up with a pretty nifty method which depended on knowing-the-right-people, cajoling, pride, preening and a free bar.  (We even found a was for free - to us - booze.)   We got the 10 grand.  But since, that organization has turned that little idea into a major fundraising method.  To be brutally frank, I did not and do not have the skill to convert it from what it was to what it is now.  (And Amy and company, I doff my chapeau to you!)

Oh, there’s a minor rule of fundraising for non-profits there.  Don’t get cocky when you get a good idea, because others can make it a lot better.

But how about the Ronald McDonald House?  Why do I resist?  Let me count the ways:

1 - For the owners of each McDonald’s, it exists to furnish food and thereby make money.  That’s OK.  That’s American.  But don’t get all high-minded and pretend that you’re in it just for the Ronald McDonald house, because you are not.

2 - The McDonald’s corporation apparently has let us down on telling us what the Ronald McDonald house is.  Lots of people don’t know.  Unlike the cute and annoying “Kars-4-Kids,” they don’t have sufficient confusion to hide whatever it is they are collecting for.

3 - The poor, underpaid employee - who probably has to save their money to but a shirt with a collar to wear to work - knows damn well that they are put in spot to pressure customers at the point-of-sale, in the presence of other customers, to make a donation and either (1) be thought normal and a trifle nice or be (2) an irrational, miserly old bastard.  If you’re going to hold someone up, even for change from a dollar, surprise them: It’s so much more effective.

And the big, overwhelming reason: Neither the local franchisee nor the McD’s Corp. has shown that they have skin-in-the-game.  Maybe they do.  Maybe they don’t.  I don’t know.

Let’s assume that McD’s corporation has “Ronald McDonald Houses.  They no doubt do.  Presumably, they give people a place to stay near a medical facility where - I think - their children are being treated.  Oh, I can look it up on their website and since what THEY say they do, but it that’s not my job.  If they want my money, they have the responsibility to tell me what it’s for.

They benefit from modest advertising as being the sponsor of Ronald McDonald Houses.  That is a minor asset to the franchisees and the big corporation and so far, that only appears a modest plus. 

How can they prove “skin-in-the-game”?  By showing some commitment apart of urging customer for “rounding up.”  What costs and what effort do (1) the franchisee’s give up and (2) the big corporation give up?  We don’t know. 

All we know is that WE are asked in an overtly publicly direct fashion to donate.

I get gas & pop in to get a coke at a regional gas-restrooms-and-food mega gas
station called “Sheetz.”  (Buc-ees, Pilot, Maveriks, WaWa’s, etc., are very similar.)  At Sheetz, they run occasional fundraisers for good causes.  (Hey, nearly EVERYTHING is a good cause - taking care of parent while their kids are sick is a good cause - If McD’s does so, they need to explain what they do a whole lot better.)  Sheetz does the collection for whoever by announcing it on their speakers (along with ads, jingles and allegedly happy sounds that make you want to buy more stuff), and then they prove that they have skin-in-the-game:  

“WE MATCH WHATEVER YOU DONATE.”  

If you offer to match me, you’re not just a Salvation Army band with a kettle - You have become my partner, and you can be guaranteed that I’ll pony up.  “Would you like to round-up?  WE’LL MATCH IT.”  That would generate a donation from me every time.  If Sheetz can match it, I’m all in.

I LIKE to find people who spend my money better than I can.  I prefer being asked politely and informed what they will do and that they are indeed my partners.  I have had former life partners who all commented that “You are giving too much money” for a donation, a tip, or such like.   Buzz off.  It ain’t your money.  (A couple of individuals may be afraid for the comment they might believe I’m tempted to make there.  Relax, girls.) 

It is good and it is gratifying and it is culturally a magnificent thing to share what we have earned or been given to improve even a little part of life.  But we don’t to it blindly.  Even as it is our joy to give, it is the users responsibility to tell us what they will use it for and to prove that they really do have skin-in-the-game.

So I’m sure that the Ronald McDonald House donation process can be greatly improved.  Right now, it sorta sucks.

Mizpah!