05 July 2012

How the President Saved the Coal Miners; or, A Child's Garden of Versed

I Am SOOOOO Embarassed

Then-candidate Obama said in November 2008:

“If somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can.  It’s just that it will bankrupt them because they’re going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that’s being emitted.”

And in 2012, the EPA followed through with regulations (that never touched Congress) which made it impossible to build any more coal-fired power plants.

And here I thought that was going to be bad news for the coal industry and bad news for West Virginia miners. Thank goodness someone smarter than I has set me straight.

The West Virginia Center for Budget and Policy is spreading around vigorously its study showing that under Pres. Obama, mining jobs in West Virginia increased  nearly 8%! Mind you, this is The Center for Budget and Policy.   And this growth in the coal industry occurred during the Obama administration.  This whole idea of banning new installations for the primary use of coal in America must be good for coal and good for employment in West Virginia.

I have applied the same strict standards of research and logic to other good things which have happened in West Virginia in the last four years.  I find so much else for which we need to be pathetically grateful to the national administration.

And, by the way, shame on you Sen. Manchin and Gov. Tomblin for not backing the Pres. Obama coal ban!  Can’t you see that banning coal power plants is GOOD for coal miners?

The population of Canadian geese in Marion County has increased by 47% between 2009 and 2012.   I’ve counted them personally on the golf course. I love Canadian geese. Under Pres. Obama, we have 47% more of them.  Only conservative zealots and ecological pirates dislike the little “presents” they leave on the putting greens.  Evil cretins.

Since 2009, the food tax West Virginia has plunged from 3% to 1%. Here again, Pres. Obama has been at the helm.  Oh, right, you think that Gov. Manchin, Gov. Tomblin and the entire Legislature did it?  They would not have DARED without the go ahead from the top.

Since 2009, no terrorists have hijacked a commercial aircraft flying over West Virginia. None. Zero. That’s a 100% success rate. Who was in charge?  You know who.  Results don’t lie.

Since 2009, the Boy Scouts have established a huge national base in Fayette County.  Oh, wait, the President doesn’t like the Boy Scouts.  Well, it was mighty nice of him to put that aside and bless us anyway.

The rivers continue to flow. The leaves turn their lush reds and yellows in the autumn.  We’ve had a leap year.  Lady Gaga hit the charts.  Chicago is still windy.  The common thread - Obama has been our pilot.

You want more proof?   When the President took a vacation, what happened?  A huge storm, a “derecho,”  took out the power grid all over the State.  Coincidence?  I think not!

My new think tank, the West Virginia Center for Really Wise Stuff shortly will publish a full color report with all of this scientific proof and more.  By Jiminy, it’s a GREAT time to be alive in a progressive and optimistic West Virginia!

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