Okay, I spent February as a lazy, moribund writer.
I reflect tonight on what may be a different aspect of curmudgeon-liness.
Have you noticed that the news is junked up with lots of, well, junk? The implication is, we’re obviously supposed to care deeply about what the purveyors of news tell us to care deeply about.
And so, I’m thinking tonight about lots of random things that I’m supposed to shudder about that I just really find irrelevant, boring, stupid or simply unworthy of a whole hell of a lot of attention. I made a list. In no particular order:
George Clooney’s sexuality. Hell, I don’t know if the guy’s handsome. Looks to me like he needs to shave a little more often but maybe ladies these days go for the abrasive thing. I am told I’m supposed to care about who and what he likes. George: Stay away for me. Other than that, I just don’t care.
What anyone named Kardashian looks like with or without makeup. Or, for that matter, in any particular garment or combination of garments. If it makes the news because there are hordes of people who want to know, God bless them and I hope they acquire some taste or class at some point. But beyond that scant hope, it’s really not my problem.
What anyone named Kardashian has to say on any subject. As nearly as I can figure, these people don’t do anything useful in society and I’ve not heard any evidence that they know anything useful. I don’t see any reason to care about their opinions.
The political opinions of entertainers. Ted Nugent just endorsed somebody. I don’t know who. I don’t care. They want to tell me how to sing or how to act, I’ll listen if I want to know those things. If they want to tell me how to vote, I really find their opinions irrelevant and boring.
Burning the Bible. I intentionally start with this one due to other things in the news. Mind you, anybody that flames a Bible is a really flaming ass hole in my book. But this is America, and the First Amendment says they can do it. My God is a fairly robust God and I don’t think that weakens him. Giving flaming ass holes attention validates them. Ignoring them marginalizes them. Who knows, maybe that means I really do care in a way, but I’m still going to deny it.
Burning the American flag. This is another First Amendment thing, and the people that do this are equally flaming ass holes. But this is still America. I confess I have to work to ignore this one.
Burning the Koran. You could see this one coming. Muslims think the people that do this are worse than flaming ass holes, they are infidel religious terrorists or some silly shit like that. I think the people burning Korans are really boring. The Muslims reacting to it with Jihad, fatwas and so forth are certified whack jobs. They want to be victimized so they can react in self-righteousness. PS, they must think Allah is fairly weak if burning a book annoys him.
The guy who got all pissy because a judge would not jail a Muslim who hit him because he was mouthing off about Allah or Mohammed. Yo, even when you exercise your First Amendment rights, there are some consequences. The Muslim didn’t shoot you, he just mussed your hair, so either shut up or go home and stay with your mommy.
Gay relationships. Theoretically, if I were unattached, I might be interested in what some particular lady might do with me. Beyond that, I really don’t care what adult does what with what other adult or object. It’s really boring.
Anne Frank and the Mormons. Lots of Jewish “spokesmen” are really all in vapors because some fringe Mormons baptized Anne Frank in absentia and postmortem. Holy St. Bartholomew, guys, lighten up. If what the Mormons did was effective, you and I both had been barking up the wrong theological tree. If not, it was just a bunch of gibberish. Ok, let's try this. I just inducted Joseph Smith into the DAR. Hey, it’s official, I lit a candle and everything. Now, his spirit is going to have to attend high tea, act snooty, and complain about immigrants. Right? What a bunch of idiots.
Anything any cleric says based solely on his or her status as a cleric. Look, I bet the Pope is a really decent fellow. I kind of liked John Paul II better, but I think he probably a lot better press agents. But when he spoke ex cathedra, it was still him and not God. When Jimmy Swaggart says to stay away from hookers, I confess he know ought to know, but he didn’t learn that in seminary. Well, for that matter, his opinion is probably worth more than that of a genuinely celibate priest.
Anything Rush Limbaugh says. Boring.
Anything anyone says in reply to Rush Limbaugh. Equally boring.
Anything else the press says that people are “outraged” about.
I’m not outraged. I’m bored.