All that Glitters is Not Titanium
Earlier this week, I was in the Fairmont General Hospital HealthPlex where there is a large wellness center/gym/work out area, urgent care center, doctors offices and so forth. FGH is a non-profit hospital and occasionally runs capital contribution campaigns. The HealthPlex was built three or four years ago, partly with sizeable donations, and there are the usual plaques to commemorate the donors and the levels of giving. On the wall by the elevators are four large plaques for the five levels. The first four are fairly humdrum, and follow the per ounce monetary value of metals: Bronze, Silver, Gold and Platinum. But they had five levels and had to name another metal. Plutonium and Americium are more valuable than Platinum, but I understand why they might avoid those. So, the highest giving level is denoted “Titanium.” That seems strange.
Mind you, I consider titanium a superior metal. The spreader arms of the first model of the Hurst Rescue Tool (“The Jaws of Life”) were fabricated of forged titanium. They were about 2 feet long had to be able to exert over 20,000 pounds of force at the tips without deforming or breaking. Titanium is used in some aircraft construction. Also, titanium is being used these days to make some very nice looking and relatively inexpensive jewelry. Perhaps this is not something random and the FGH Foundation has hit upon the idea of ranking metals not solely by their monetary value but by by their metallurgical properties and their usefulness to mankind. Based upon that, I have made a careful study of the periodical table of elements [don’t hassle me, I know that bronze is an alloy] and I suggest the following11 levels of giving, Olympic medals, and so forth, based on usefulness to mankind and my personal yet impeccable opinions:
1 - Iron
2 - Copper
3 - Aluminum
4 - Lead
5 - Zinc
6 - Mercury
7 - Tungsten
8 - Germanium
9 - Titanium
10 - Magnesium
11 - Chromium
If I had to choose number 12, it would be bronze. Silver and gold just don’t make the list. I extend apologies to Oliver Goldsmith and Paul Revere.
Note: I recognize that it would be a real bear of a job to fashion a medal out of mercury. Not my problem, I’m just the creative brains of the outfit.
Dumb Question for Wednesday
“How did the election go for you?”
Who cares? The election is OVER. What counts now is what the people we elected DO and what WE do as citizens from this day forward.
Francis Scott Key - Read the Next Stanza
The old boy knew that he wasn’t waxing lyrical about a people who were already perfect:
“God mend thine every flaw.
Confirm thy soul in self control,
Thy liberty in law.”